The image after the break is most assuredly NSFW (you’ll see some dude’s “Captain’s Log” as well as everything these young officers have to offer), so refrain from clicking the link if that sort of thing bothers you.

Set phasers to “Oh God No.”

[Via Dinner in the Darkroom]

From the Totally Awesome Department: Patrick Stewart will be knighted by Britain’s* Queen Elizabeth II.  The award recognizes service and achievement in all fields of society and is considered the highest honor for British citizens (Noncitizens may also be recognized). When men are made knights, they are called “sirs.” So let us say congratulations to Sir Patrick!

This will make him absolutely INTOLERABLE in 10 Forward.

*Who are the Britains?

Go ahead, tell me that isn’t the scariest damn thing you’ve ever seen. It was an episode of The Bionic Woman that coined the term “fembot,” and they appeared in two multi-part episodes. The fembots didn’t have AI, but relied upon their programming. Plus, they didn’t mind when people dramatically tore off their faces to reveal the mechanics beneath.

The mindless, murderous fembots are creepy, evil and infiltrated my dreams for weeks when I was young. It’s the removable face that gets me. This also explains my fear of mannequins and CPR dummies.

Look here for more on why robots suck.

It’s a given that if you build a robotic version of Beelzebub, things are pretty much bound to go wrong. The crew of the Palomino had to know things were going to go badly as soon as they spied the big guy. Eccentric scientist Dr. Hans Reinhardt paints his right-hand bot blood red, gives him whirling blades where his friendly hands should go and to top it off, there just *might* be a person trapped inside Max’s scary shell.

For kids who went to see The Black Hole, Disney’s low-budget answer to Star Wars, Maximilian was the stuff of childhood nightmares. Maximilian was a killing machine who never spoke a word and played the robotic bully to the lovable V.I.N.cent voiced by the talented Roddy McDowall. Perched on the edge of a galactic abyss, Max proved that even in the farthest reaches of deep space, robots are nothing but bad news.

Look here for more on why robots suck.

This one isn’t even fair. They’re sexy. They’re handsome. They’re responsible for the genocide of the entire human race. Light years from the cheesy ‘bots from the original series (“By your command”), Ron Moore’s cylons gave the series the dark edge it deserved. The theme of man-made machines that rise up to destroy their masters isn’t new, but few have pulled it off with such grim perfection as Moore.

Even today, I can’t watch clips of human-like robots without thinking, someday this machine’s successors will burst into my home with bloodlust software running full-tilt. Seriously, can’t you picture this thing putting a gun to your head?

Yes, cylons were an easy choice. But for very good reason.

Look here for more on why robots suck.

HAL 9000 is probably the most terrifying  of the lot. He’s faceless, emotionless and the Discovery’s central nervous system. When astronauts Dave Bowman and Frank Poole discover that the supposedly infallible HAL has made a mistake in 2001: A Spacey Odyssey, they decide to shut down all but its most basic functions. HAL doesn’t take too kindly to this, and gets a bit homicidal.

At that point, the movie is part haunted house, part beat the clock and the very reason we don’t have Gypsy, Tom Servo or Crow on NASA missions! Arthur C. Clarke has provided sci-fi fans with one of the most memorable characters of all time, as well a strong deterrent for AI in outer space.

Think of what could be. Planet Express Ship! The Infinite Improbability Drive! Forget HAL, he’s why robots suck!

Look here for more on why robots suck.

The Stepford Wives

Written by the great Ira Levin, The Stepford Wives is part satire and part commentary. In the story, a young New Yorker moves to Stepford, Connecticut. She notices that the men of Stepford are married to impossibly beautiful and conciliatory women. Of course, the cyber-shit hits the fan when our heroine discovers the truth — those men have taken to killing their wives and replacing them with fawning robots. Above is what Bravo calls the movie’s scariest scene, and we agree.

Levin’s novel is a modern classic and the 1975 film adaptation by Bryan Forbes is terrific and damn creepy. Too creepy in fact. Artificial intelligence that drives murderous men to build high-tech sex toys? No, no. That’s not what we want!

All I’m after is a pit droid to change the oil in my Saturn. Maybe a bending unit to make hilariously rude comments. Levin’s robots are submissive and eerie. Bryan’s actresses are emotionless and distant. And they’re all coming between me and my own Twiki!

Look here for more on why robots suck.

Artificial intelligence research has progressed by leaps and … oh, who are we kidding? It sucks! A robot that can navigate a maze of pink Post-It Notes? Really? That’s the best we can do? Where are the cylons? Where’s Daryl Hannah in Bladerunner? Heck, where’s Bender?

I’ll tell you why we don’t have those things yet. In fact, it’s because of them! Every time we get a new movie like I, Robot or that forthcoming Bruce Willis stink bomb, it features sentient, pissed-off androids whose only motivation is to destroy human kind. Sure, it makes for an exciting movie but it hinders the MIT AI lab!

“Sure, I’ll fund your project,” says the wealthy investor. “It looks incredible. Here’s a a check for 10 million dollars. Who do I make this out … Hey, wait a minute. Aren’t these robots just going to rise up and enslave us?”

“Well no, Mr. High Profiled Investor. That’s just fiction and …”

“Don’t pull that over on me! I’ve seen The Stepford Wives!”

With this in mind, we’re begging sci-fi writers everywhere. Please write docile, helpful robots into your stories. We’re talking R2. We’re talking Rosie. But don’t do it for us, do it for these pathetic souls.

Look here for more on why robots suck.

Earlier this week, Dark Horse released Star Wars comics for the iPhone, which is a first. In fact, they’ve released seven issues across three titles. I checked out one title this afternoon and I’ve got to say, I’m disappointed.

The first title, Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Shipyards of Doom [App Store link] is based upon Cartoon Network’s The Clone Wars. Upon launch, you’ve got a few options. Choose between a curl, fade or slide transition or have each page auto-advance after a designated amount of time. Additionally, you may jump to any page you like.

As for the comic itself, the artwork is rather dull. Not all of it, mind you, but several panels are quite plain. I understand that not every scene can be full of whiz-bang action, but there were enough boring panels for me to notice. The story is on par with an episode of The Clone Wars, so if you like the show you’ll like this issue.

As for the others, there are three issues under Star Wars: Empire, [App Store link] which are set just weeks before the events of episode IV, A New Hope. Finally, two issues of Star Wars: Legacy [App Store link] are set 100 years after the events of Return of the Jedi. Each issue costs $0.99US.

Ultimately, they’re OK. A fun bit of Star Wars and definitely worth a buck. But not stellar Star Wars at all. Check out the gallery below for screen shots.

[Via The Flickcast]

[nggallery id=1]

Elizabeth Montgomery

She’s best known for playing Samantha on Bewitched, but I enjoyed her performance as a soldier in the Twilight Zone episode, “Two.” She and Charles Bronson play the only people on Earth after a long and bloody war. The catch: they’re members of opposing armies. Eventually they learn to abandon their hate and begin life anew. It’s a fun yet predictable episode, and Elizabeth turns in some nice acting, despite the fact that her character doesn’t speak.

Anne Francis

Angelina Jolie has nothing on the lovely Anne Francis. Most famously, Anne played Altaira “Alta” Morbius in the classic Forbidden Planet. This landmark sci-fi movie was loosely based on Shakespeare’s The Tempest and was nominated for academy awards, pushed special effects forward and featured the first appearance of Robby the Robot.

That’s all well and good, but for me, Anne never looked as charming as she did in “The After Hours.” In this episode of The Twilight Zone, Anne wanders into a department store to buy a thimble for her mother. She’s brought to the mysterious 9th floor which houses just one counter, one employee and one thimble for sale. As she investigates the “rude woman” who waited on her, she becomes agitated and is asked to rest in a back room.

She wakes up after the store has closed and returns to the 9th floor, where a group of mannequins seem to call her name and surround her. At last she realizes that she herself is a mannequin who has returned after enjoying her turn living in the “real world.”

It’s a creepy episode that moves along briskly and features an absolutely beautiful Anne Francis.

Mariette Hartley

No wonder Spock fell for Zarabeth … she was played by Mariette Hartely. When he and Bones tried to follow Kirk through the atavachron in the episode “All Our Yesterdays,” Zarabeth was waiting, having been exiled there. It isn’t long before she gets a certain science officer’s green blood boiling, and we don’t blame him.

She also played Sandra Horn in The Twilight Zone’s “The Long Morrow,” in which her beauty inspired an astronaut to endure 40 lonely years in space.

Catherine Schell

Fans of Space: 1999 will remember the beautiful and talented Catherine Schell who joined the cast as a regular in season 2. She also appeared in Doctor Who in 1979 and currently runs a hotel in France. Who knew?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “No Barbarella?!” That’s right, no Barbarella. Why? Eh, that character was too cartoonish, too over-the-top. Not that Jeri Ryan in that Starfleet uniform wasn’t silly, but you know what I mean.

Was there anyone that we missed? Let us know.

It was the cameo to end all cameos. That clever JJ Abrams put R2-D2 in Star Trek, though he wouldn’t say where. Instead, the studio announced a contest on Facebook. At long last, a winner has been identified and R2’s cameo revealed. If you want to know where R2 is in Star Trek, click below. Screenshot included. If not, just move along. There’s nothing to see here.

Here it is (stop reading if you don’t want to know. This is your last warning):

During the Drill Machine sequence, as the Enterprise comes out of its barrel roll amidst the destruction of the other Federation ships above Vulcan, we cut to an interior, over-the-shoulder shot of Kirk on the Enterprise bridge, looking through the front viewscreen. In space, R2-D2 is floating in the debris from about the top middle of the screen to the bottom right.

Who needs styrene plastic, CGI or even LEGOs when you have paper, a printer and some rubber cement? With a little love and a whole lot of practice, now you can have some of the most memorable ships from the Star Wars saga come to life on your desktop. Thanks to some clever calculations, visitors to Creative Closeup can download free paper patterns for just about everything. Our favorites include the Millennium Falcon seen above, TIE Fighters, AT-ATs, X-Wings and many more. We won’t deny how cool it would be to have one of these masterful paper models on our office desk, we just don’t think our Jedi skills or our patience is strong enough to make the effort.

[hat tip to Andreas for this post]

We have a feeling that any Trek fan with small children is going to go ga-ga over these new Star Trek styled bibs and pull-overs. Created by hand and sold by rhoadwork on Etsy, they come in a variety of styles including the one seen here, classic TOS command, and of course Red Shirt. And don’t tell us you’re not itching to put this on your baby, and then hand him a jar of raspberry jam just so he can inevitably end up looking like Admiral Kirk from Wrath of Kahn. You know you want to!

[hat tip to Fanboy for this post]

Here’s a surprise: I enjoy MMORPGs. I’ve been playing Warcraft for years, and have anticipated the upcoming Star Trek Online for almost as long. Meanwhile, Bioware has released the first cinematic trailer for Star Wars: The Old Republic and it looks great. There’s not a lot of info available just yet, but here’s what we do know.

The story is set 3,500 years before the rise of Darth Vader and 300 years before the events of The Knights of the Old Republic. Specifically, it depicts the Sith Empire’s sacking of Coruscant. Players can choose to join either the Sith Empire or the Galactic Republic, and then refine their selection with classes, factions, alliances, etc.

One interesting aspect is the Holonet, a vast database of gameworld history, classes, planets and factions that will be accessible from within the game. You can get a small taste of it online. Additionally, LucasArts called the game “…the largest voice over project in the history of games and maybe across all areas of entertainment” at this week’s E3 Expo. Why? Because every character in the game — yes, every one — is “voiced.” Walk up to them and they’ll talk. That’s cool.

There’s no release date or system requirements available, but we’ll follow this game’s development and keep you in the loop.

[Via Massively]

If you’re going to put a comedy duo smack dab in the middle of a sci-fi kids show, what better straight man could you have than a cool, calculating robot? When Lost In Space first premiered on US television in 1963, producers soon realized they had a classic comedy team in Doctor Zachary Smith, played with scene chewing panache by Jonathan Harris, and the B-9 Robot, voiced by Dick Tufeld.

As the show progressed over its 3 season run, the relationship between Dr. Smith and the Robot turned from one of creator and progeny to that more akin to Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy. The Robot served as the perfect straight man to Dr. Smith’s increasingly outlandish jibes and insults and viewers loved every minute of it.

I can’t count how many times Doctor Smith got himself and Will Robinson into trouble and how many times the Robot would have to come to the rescue. And no matter how many times the pair would verbally joust, Smith always seemed to have a new name to call the Robot. “Bubble-headed Booby” was one of the most beloved, but there were many, many more. I think one of the reasons why kids like myself always loved the duo was that no matter how badly they insulted each other, in the end, they would always have the other’s best interests at heart. Plus, the Robot was just plain cool.

Check out our other favorite duos!

And we thought they looked cute on the outside! This super-cool plushie Tauntaun with removable frozen Luke Skywalker is the handiwork of sewing artist Heidi Kenney and is due to be shown as part of the upcoming Stitch Wars exhibit from July 18th – August 29th. The exhibit is being held in Florida, but Star Wars fans can view and purchase goods from the show online at stitchwars.com (the site isn’t up yet but you can view info for it here). Head on over and check out more photos of this awesome creation as well as Heidi’s online store today.

Teenage James Tiberius Kirk was a hellraiser. Fatherless and wreckless, he had a habit of joyriding his uncle’s antique Corvette while blasting equally ancient music. Specifically, “Sabotage” by The Beastie Boys. I felt that the music fit the scene perfectly, but others did not. Perhaps if they knew why it was chosen.

There’s an infamous clip of Shatner doing voice over work in which he pronounces the word “sabo-TAAGE” and, when corrected, states that he’s never pronounced it “sabotage.” You can listen after the break.

Abrams insists that the song’s selection was pure coincidence, but I’m not buying it. As an Easter Egg, it’s just too delicious to attribute to chance.

Theirs was the classic story: Boy loses sister to aliens via trade with a government shadow agency, boy’s cheese slips a bit off of his cracker, boy draws attention of men running said shadow agency, men introduce sexy yet reserved female scientist to boy –  ignorant of her real purpose — to debunk his investigations of said shadow agency, boy falls in love with girl but doesn’t kiss her for like 7 seven seasons despite the fact that she’s a smoking hot redhead with pouty lips, boy and girl have baby. Kind of.

There’s so much to love about these two, like Scully’s ability to ground Mulder when he seems lost, and Mulder’s need to push Scully beyond her dedication to the scientific method. For me, however, the highlight of this couple is the subtlety of affection.

For decades, TV shows have used “the reluctant couple” as a plot device. From Hawkeye and Hot Lips to Tony and Angela to that dude on Night Court and the blonde girl, it’s a prime time staple that usually culminates in a kiss scheduled for sweeps week. Not so with The X-Files.

It was clear that both characters shared a deep affection that didn’t need overt acknowledgement. Good-natured ribbing, subtle looks and even brief hand-holding were just as meaningful as that eventual kiss. You knew that Mulder loved Scully and vice-versa. Chris Carter kept it at that and the show was better for it.

Hats off to Mulder and Scully, one of our favorite Sci-Fi duos. Have you got a favorite?

It’s the cameo to end all cameos — R2D2 is in JJ Abrams’s Star Trek.

Here’s the deal: R2 does in fact make an appearance in Star Trek. Paramount is running a contest to see who can find him. The prize is a prop from the movie. There’s a Facebook page set up with all the details.

Where could he be? Gizmodo has two guesses. The first puts him aboard the Enterprise via the astormech droid bay (see above). The second is less clear and places him in a hangar with Kirk and McCoy. Of course, this isn’t the first sci-fi cameo by a long shot. Aliens of E.T’s species appeared in The Phantom Menace for example.

Aside from cameos, a number of very famous faces appeared somewhere in Star Trek history. Some of the more surprising are:

1. Mick Fleetwood played an Antedean dignitary in the episode “Manhunt” from Star Trek: The Next Generation’s 2nd season.
2. Steven Hawking played a holographic version of himself during the first scene of the TNG episode “Descent.”
3. King Abdullah II bin al-Hussein, real-world ruler of the Hashermite Kingdom of Jordan, played a science officer in the Voyager episode “Investigations.”
4. Bryan Singer, director of The Usual Suspects, Apt Pupil and the first two X-Men movies, played a tactical officer in Star Trek: Nemesis.
5. Most recently, Rachel Nichols played Gaila in JJ’s Star Trek. Hubba, hubba.

In case you’re not hip enough to know what all the cool kids are into these days, we’ll give you a tip – vinyl collector toys. Spurred by modern collectable companies like Kidrobot and Strangekiss Art Toys, vinyl pieces are all the rage with the generation z set. The wonderful figure you see above comes from blubbel and is just one in a long line of toys we’d love to own. Be sure to also check out their Watchmen Dunnys as well as their cool Pulp Fiction Munnys. I think it’s safe to say we want them all.

If you’re like us, then you’re probably still stinging over the Sci-Fi Channel’s early cancellation of Farscape all those years ago. But thanks to Apple’s iPhone, there’s good news for Farscape fans. From Rockne S. O’Bannon (the creator of Farscape) and Keith DeCandido, comes the Farscape #1 Preview app. This free digital graphic novel picks up where the Peace Keeper wars left off and continues the story of John Crichton, Aeryn Sun and all your favorite characters. The full issue of Farscape #1 is heading for the App Store soon, but until then, fans can head on over and download this free preview. Don’t miss it!

[Hat tip to Andreas for this post]

Announcing the first (and last) annual Toastie Awards for our favorite science fiction show, Battlestar Galactica. What just are the Toasties you ask? The Toasties are a fun and completely arbitrary award bestowed on our very favorite parts of BSG. We’ll be handing out Toasties like algae during episode 28 of The Sci-Fi Cast and we need your help!

We have some pre-determined Toastie categories that we’ll be mentioning during the podcast, but we’d also love to hear your nominations for any and all funny BSG categories you might have. We encourage you to post them, along with who you think should win, either in the comments thread of this post or by tweeting them to us @scificast. Be sure to include the search term #bsgtoastie in your tweet so we don’t miss it when categories and nominees are tallied.

Here are some of the Toastie Award categories we’ll be mentioning during episode 28. If you’d like to add nominations for fun categories, go for it! We’ll pick the best fan categories and announce the winners for each in our podcast the week of April 13th.

Toastie Award Categories:

• Best episode of BSG
• Best Tag Line or Saying
• Fan Favorite Character
• Best Frak
• Best Death Scene
• Sexiest Cylon
• Best BSG Shock
• Most Annoying Character
• (other fun ones you nominate!)

The universe of science fiction often dreams of technology decades before it becomes part of our every day lives. What seems one day like small screen fantasy, eventually gives way and becomes technological reality. So it was with Space: 1999’s iconic Commlock, which strangely foreshadowed Apple’s modern handheld device, the iPhone.

Now considered a sci-fi cult hit, Space: 1999 was produced by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson in the UK, ran from ‘75 to ‘77 and was heavily influenced by the visual designs of films like 2001: A Space Odyssey. Space: 1999’s production designer, Keith Wilson, looked to 2001 for inspiration and created spacecraft and devices which have since become fan favorites. Little did Wilson and Anderson know that one of their creations, the humble commlock, would so accurately represent today’s handheld devices, particularly Apple’s iPhone.

The concept behind the device was simple – commlocks were a sort of “electronic swiss army knife” that no member of Moonbase Alpha could be without. Like the familiar communicators of Star Trek, the commlock’s primary function was that of a communications device. But where communicators were limited to mere voice messages, commlocks featured a tiny CRT that allowed video calls with other crew members. Indeed the original prop was designed around what was then the world’s smallest TV screen (the 1971 “Integrated Circuit” Panasonic TR-001, 1.5″). Today video conferencing is common place, but in 1975 few could conceive of it, let alone on a mobile, hand-held platform like that shown in Space: 1999.

Commlocks also acted as electronic, one-touch “keys” which allowed authorized personnel access to their designated sections. Like the modern iPhone, the devices could be password protected with a personal code to prevent unwarranted use, could be “blanked” remotely for security purposes, and had the ability to download and run programs from the base’s main computer for specialized analysis. Programs that ran on the devices included one to automatically trigger condition red at the touch of a single button, and another that allowed the commlock to emit a high-pitched frequency.

Another fascinating iPhone parallel was the ability of an individual’s commlock to be “docked” at any of the hundreds of workstations around Alpha. This allowed the units not only to recharge, but to also send and receive information directly to the main computer core for faster data retrieval and upload.

Looking back at the series 34 years later, it’s fun to spot the parallels between what the writers of Space: 1999 thought our future held and what actually became reality. While the dream of a permanent, manned base on the surface of the moon has yet to materialize, smaller, more down-to-earth predictions such as the commlock have found their way into today’s technology. Who knows what fantastical aspects of modern sci-fi shows will be common place 30+ years from now? If all goes well, we won’t have to have our moon blasted out of earth orbit to find out.

Since science fiction fans are such a resourceful lot, it’s no surprise they’ve come up with some pretty creative ideas for their finale parties. Over at Dane101, they list a funny assortment of party foods and character-driven dietary tracks that’s worth checking out. Here are just some of the highlights. For the full list, jump on over and check out the complete post.

BSG Food & Drink:
• Col. Tigh Pie
• Kobol Cake
• LOTS of booze including six good drinks, one that doesn’t work out, and five that you throw together at the last minute from whatever you’ve got lying around.

Character Diets:
• Six: A steady diet of faith.
• Starbuck: Anything, but make sure you hide it from yourself and feel guilty about it. If caught, deny it, then punch your accuser.
• Romo Lamkin: Imaginary cat food.

Hat tip to Min for this post

This flow chart will tell you.

How geeky are you?

I’m only about level 3 from the top, but I have 3 spots there too. (And, no, I’m not telling you which ones.)

Breaking News: The Glorious Hypnotoad gives you all the freshest spoilers for BSG ending.

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for season 4 of Battlestar Galactica.

One of the things we love about Battlestar Galactica is the show’s attention to detail. From the cut corners, to the colonial swear words, Ron Moore’s Galactica is a geek’s paradise. One of the ways the series illustrates this is its unwavering quest for continuity. Most fans of Battlestar Galactica know that the number of survivors listed in the opening credits changes from week to week depending on how many people in the fleet kick the bucket or are added due to births or discovering long lost colonials.

Last night’s episode of season 4, A Disquiet Follows My Soul, featured a different, but still subtle change in the opening credits. Previously, the opening text that is the hallmark of each episode tells us that humanity is searching for a home… called Earth. However, with the discovery of the nuked, uninhabitable “Earth” in Revelations, the fleet has been in disarray. Adama & Roslin’s quest for Earth came to a bitter end and now humanity must wander space until a new home can be found. The new sequence reflects this change in the story and it’s just another reason why we love BSG so much.

Wonderful fan film of the TIE fighter battle in New Hope. I especially love the guys who play C-3PO, R2 and Chewie. The use of the ladder on the floor is very clever. I’d love to have the little exchange between Han, Leia and Luke in the Falcon cockpit at the end of the scene, but overall it’s a great effort. The Force is strong with this bunch.